{"id":1281,"date":"2013-04-05T13:37:34","date_gmt":"2013-04-05T20:37:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/redshoezone.ca\/?p=1281"},"modified":"2016-04-16T11:20:33","modified_gmt":"2016-04-16T18:20:34","slug":"how-not-to-look-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ohmywordjournal.com\/redshoezone\/how-not-to-look-old\/","title":{"rendered":"How Not To Look Old"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yikes! the books you\u00a0bring home\u00a0from the library when\u00a0your mandate is to expand.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t looking for these books ……specifically<\/i>.<\/p>\n

I’d devised a library strategy to help break same old\/same old\u00a0patterns in my life — pick a random row, wander down, scan the titles and whatever\u00a0pops out — check out. No review, no inspection.\u00a0It is a little trial and error but I like the randomness and surprise of it all. It has provided winners and\u00a0(of course) losers.<\/p>\n

The two books that jumped out a few days ago\u00a0did not disappoint. Both were on the topic of aging. One was called, How Not to Look Old<\/i> and the other Stop Aging and Start Living<\/i>.<\/p>\n

I was pleased I had a theme going.<\/p>\n

The perspectives couldn’t have been more different. I found one\u00a0fascinating I\u2019ll save it for next week. \u00a0The other – How Not to Look Old – struck me as\u00a0truly humorous although I’m pretty sure that’s not what the author intended. However, the anti-aging lift<\/em> of laughter is probably the best way\u00a0‘not to\u00a0look\u00a0 old’\u00a0 —\u00a0 warms the soul, lightens the heart,\u00a0inserts twinkles in eyes\u00a0and a glow all over!<\/p>\n

Perhaps\u00a0the book achieved it’s goal after all.<\/p>\n

A\u00a0summary of Book 1: How Not to Look Old<\/b><\/p>\n

With the\u00a0promise of the cover …… Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter and 10 Times Better ….I dove in!<\/p>\n

What follows is a (selected) list of things the author advises should be avoided\u00a0OR gotten rid of as we age. Hang onto your hat.<\/p>\n

Helmet hair, visibly thinning hair, hair parted down middle hair, dull hair, too dark hair, ashy hair, gray brows, drawn on brows, unkempt brows, coke bottle lenses, glasses dangling on necklaces, boring frames, half\u00a0glasses, thick black eyeliner, glittery eye shadow, too bright eye shadow, clumpy hard mascara, streaks of blush, raccoon eyes, cakey\u00a0foundation, orange self tan, sagging skin, smile lines\/laugh lines\/lip lines\/marionette lines\/forehead lines\/crow\u2019s feet, age spots, too dark lipstick, cracked lips, fake plumped lips, thin lips, dragon lady nails, veiny and\/or bony hands.<\/p>\n

There’s more…..<\/p>\n

…..grannie\u00a0pants, girdle legs, sausaging, muffin tops, spillage, back fat, saggy\u00a0breasts, massive breasts and uniboobs…. also hairy legs, pale legs and ugly orthopedic shoes.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not familiar with girdle legs, spillage or sausaging \u2013 if anyone knows what these are please<\/em> advise.<\/p>\n

In the meantime I’ll start working through the list.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll be checking my closet for ugly orthopedic shoes (and tossing), volumizing\u00a0my thinning hair, dumping my sparkle shadow and black lipstick and trying to figure what to do with my thin lips, bony hands, sagging skin, smile\/laugh\/forehead lines, crow\u2019s feet and age spots\u00a0all the while wondering if I have\u00a0spillage or sausaging.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s agree to have things corrected by the end of the week shall we?<\/p>\n

Seriously\u00a0— I’m going to have to forfeit the ’10 years younger’\u00a0<\/em>opportunity as \u00a0thankfully<\/em> age, wisdom and growing self acceptance have\u00a0given me\u00a0bigger fish to fry.\u00a0Although\u00a0I’m \u00a0pretty sure the tears-running-down-my face-laughter\u00a0did shave 6 months off!<\/p>\n

I’ll keep\u00a0my back fat.<\/p>\n

reACTION [to change in the response to stimulus]: Aging Tips<\/b><\/h2>\n

How Not to Look Old is written by Charla Krupp…lots more in this book you may find interesting.<\/p>\n

If you liked this\u00a0post please share it with friends and like Red Shoe Zone on Facebook.<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yikes! the books you\u00a0bring home\u00a0from the library when\u00a0your mandate is to expand. I wasn\u2019t looking for these books ……specifically. I’d devised a library strategy to help break same old\/same old\u00a0patterns in my life — pick a random row, wander down, scan the titles and whatever\u00a0pops out — check out. No review, no inspection.\u00a0It is aRead More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[19,273,36,142,256],"class_list":{"0":"post-1281","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-beauty","8":"tag-aging","9":"tag-beauty","10":"tag-books","11":"tag-humour","12":"tag-women","13":"entry","14":"genesis-grid"},"yoast_head":"\nHow Not To Look Old - Red Shoe Zone<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ohmywordjournal.com\/redshoezone\/how-not-to-look-old\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Not To Look Old - Red Shoe Zone\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yikes! the books you\u00a0bring home\u00a0from the library when\u00a0your mandate is to expand. 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